Saturday, June 25, 2016

Merit's Birth Story.

It's been awhile since I even considered writing a blog post. I would have loved to keep up with it but life got in the way and I kind of just forgot about it. Fast forward to a few nights ago rocking our new baby back to sleep while reading my old blog posts and feeling nostalgic that I realized if I didn't write about our life as of now I would seriously regret it. A new baby brings all sorts of feels that can't be described and reading old posts takes me back to that where to begin?

We found out we were pregnant mid October, I couldn't have been more ecstatic! Tavin made our home feel so much more complete since he was born and I knew that another little spirit would only make that feeling grow. I had a rougher time in the first trimester than I had with Tavin, I never was sick in the morning but hello afternoon sickness! Almost everyday after lunch I would find myself in the bathroom and my energy was totally shot. We told our families after 12 weeks when we had our first ultrasound (I have crazy bad pregnancy anxiety and had the hardest time telling anyone until we knew that baby was definitely doing well.) Our families were so excited and the best part was we got to tell them that Tav was getting a brother! We were shocked when the ultrasound tech told us the gender but he acted 99% sure it was a boy!
Midway through January I started back into school. We had always said that when Brady was finished and had a good steady job that I would go back. It was SO HARD. I would have not survived had it not been for Brady's complete confidence in me and my amazing family (especially my sister Molly!) who helped me with Tavin. And Tavin was absolutly amazing with it all! He slept through the night, played while I worked on homework and gave me endless snuggles when I needed them most. He is the best kid ever and I feel so lucky to be his mama. I did end up finishing, surprisingly, with an A in Chemistry. But please for anyone considering going back to school DO NOT take Chemistry while pregnant (picture super crazy, hormonal lady at its finest!)
So not only was I in the craziest 5 months of my life very pregnant and trying to keep up with the cutest 1 year old there ever was but we bought a house in February!! It is the best feeling in the whole wide world to have this cute little house that we get to call our own and raise our babies in. We have loved it and loved making it our very own. Lots of painting and decorating projects, baby prep and holy cow we have been super busy. At 35 weeks I finished my last class and for the next couple of weeks devoted every minute that Tavin was awake to him and every minute he was asleep to last minute home projects, baby shopping and setting up the nursery.
Last morning just the 2 of us!
I went in for my appointment at 38 weeks and made sure Brady was there with me. My doctor had told me earlier in my pregnancy that I could be induced at 39 weeks so I wanted to make sure that both of us were on board for a date to be set and for Brady to hear this little guys heartbeat one more time! We were set up to be induced on June 9th at 7:30am. The next week I seriously had the hardest time grasping that the time was here. This pregnancy had flown by so fast and even in those last few weeks I never really felt the time dragging on (OK, maybe my huge whale self and pregnancy pains did!) June 8th was our 4 year wedding anniversary and we wanted to spend the day together. The previous weekend we had spent lots of time spoiling Tavin so we needed sometime just the two of us.
That morning I ran last minute errands and took Tavin swimming before dropping him off at Brady's parents house and waiting for Brady to come home so we could go golfing. I got home around 2:30 and Brady was supposed to get off at 3:30. I started to feel some pretty good contractions and felt super nauseous but since I NEVER got contractions I questioned if that was really what I was feeling. They were coming far apart anyway so I wasn't about to let them slow our anniversary down, plus I knew for sure that we would have this baby in the morning. Brady came home and we hopped in the car to go to the golf course, he rented a cart for me but to save $6 walked alongside it. Ha! Yes we are that frugal and if I wasn't 9 months pregnant I would have been walking with him. We had THE best time joking, reminiscing on the last 4 years, Brady sneaking in the cart real fast when no one could see us, holding hands and trying to wrap our heads around the fact that we were about to be parents again! We had planned to do 9 holes and on the 7th hole after laughing about the fact that I was still having contractions I decided what the heck I'll start timing them. I was surprised to find that they were coming about 8-10 minutes apart but still would not convince myself that this might be the real thing.
We ran a few more errands and on the way to dinner contractions were now consistently coming at 6 minutes apart and starting to hurt a little more. During dinner I realized that they had slowed down and so I quit timing them. We made one more stop to the grocery store to pick up snacks for Brady and gum for me during labor the next day and ice cream to eat with our 4 year old wedding cake! (Yep, we eat a slice every year but sadly it was a little freezer burnt this year so I think that ended the tradition. Its been on 4 different moves!) While shopping my contractions started getting super painful. I would have to stop to breathe through them and so I timed a couple and they were a rough 5-6 minutes apart. We headed out to Brady's parents to pick up Tavin and I called the birthing center to ask them about my contractions (it was about 7:30pm) After explaining to the lady what was going on and that I had tested positive for Group B Strep and would need antibiotics for 4 hours she kind of shrugged me off and told me I would need to have them be at least 5 minutes apart consistently for 2 hours! Whatever I thought, I'm getting induced in the morning. They did slow down even more when we reached my in-laws and gave Tavin a bath and got him ready for bed but when they did come they still hurt a lot!
I took this as we were leaving Brady's parent's house, just hours before he was here.
Our 4 year old wedding cake!

After getting home and laying Tavin down for the night we went out on our porch to eat our cake and ice cream. I remember standing up to walk in the house and I couldn't even make it to the door it hurt so bad but they still weren't really consistent and I was determined to not go in and be sent home. We sat down on the couch to watch some TV and had been there for a little while...Brady was begging me to let him go to sleep since it was such a crazy day tomorrow but I knew I would never be able to sleep so he sat with me a little longer and after a really bad contraction I finally started timing them again. 3 minutes apart. And they were coming hard and strong and I could barely breathe. I told Brady if they lasted for 30 minutes maybe we should just go in (It was 10:30pm) so at 11pm after getting zero relief we called my parents to come over to be with Tavin and started gathering up our things. Of course this took longer than I thought between showering, picking up the kitchen, kissing Tav one more time and gathering up the rest of our stuff we finally got in the car at 11:55 and as I sat down Brady asked when the last contraction was. I started to panic a little as I realized it had been longer than 3 minutes and I really did not want to be sent home! When we pulled into the hospital  it was 12:03am and I had the worst contraction by far that I decided we could go in.
After walking into the ER the receptionist asked me a few information questions and then they wheeled me back, my heart pounding that they were going to say go home and come back tomorrow, Ugh. After being dropped off in the labor and delivery room the nurse asked if I was the same Sara that had called earlier, yep that's me! She said to change, she would check me and let us know if the doctor would have us stay. After changing and breathing through some really nasty contractions I crawled into bed, was hooked up to the monitors and the nurse left. It was 12:20am. She came back in a few minutes later and said my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and checked me. I was roughly dilated to a 5 and 80% effaced. She told me I could stay...relief! She left to order the epidural, get me started on antibiotics for the next 4 hours and call the doctor.
Seriously a minute later I almost screamed the contractions hurt so bad I gripped Brady's hand and started crying and then every thing happened. I felt my water break and my sides felt like they were being ripped through a meat grinder. I grabbed the bed and gritted my teeth so hard begging Brady to call the nurse. She came back in and tried talking to me but I was groaning in pain, she told me she was going to start my IV and reached for my left hand. She was trying so hard to get it in and I was trying so hard not to scream. A second nurse came into help and rolled my vein so they switched hands. I couldn't hold it in any longer I started screaming and groaning. It was unbearable! A third nurse came in and asked how far along I was and they told her a 5. She was the head nurse and quickly checked me, all I remember at this point was her saying (a little panicky) she's a ten, she's complete. My mind was spinning and I kept thinking, "please make it stop, I don't want to have him like this, I want the epidural!" Things got a little crazy at this point. The nurses were rushing all around, they threw aside my IV, started grabbing towels, paging each other, closing the window (gee, thanks.) and pulling in the baby bed. Brady said they were all running around so much that no one was at the end of the bed and the head was almost out! I was a screaming, thrashing mess (not my proudest moment) and the nurses were telling me not to push. "Sure, I'll try that." Then all the sudden I felt this little body leave and heard the loudest and most perfect cry.

Merit Brady Anderson was born at 12:38am and my heart grew a million times larger. They immediately laid him on my chest and it was a strangely familiar and at the same time new moment as I stared down at this fresh new baby. Brady leaned over the bed and said, "Babe, you just did that without an epidural or anything!" It's crazy how when first holding Tavin and Merit I fell in love with Brady all over again. Gosh I love him SO much it hurts! The next hour I just laid with baby Merit on my chest, kissing him and feeding him. Then they weighed him and cleaned him up, 7 pounds 7 ounces and 20 inches of pure perfection.
The next couple of days were pretty much magic as we let the moment sink in, watched our family members hold Merit for the first time and most important watched Tavin and Merit meet. He loves his baby brother and has been doing absolutely amazing, it could not have gone smoother and I could not love them anymore.
Just hours old.

Ready to go home!
We have been living this new fairy tale the last couple of weeks and are slowly coming back into reality but the spirit that Merit has brought into our home is so perfect and so right. Tavin could not be doing better with him! He amazes me everyday with how patient he has been with me and the new baby. He loves "his baby" and we love him so much! We are feeling blessed beyond words.
Loving his baby.

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